TWEEN sounds just like TEEN, and since they practically ARE I have a great fucking idea! Let’s tell all little girls who are between 10-12 that they have moved up from the rank of “kid” to “tween”!
This way they can go ahead and get a jump start on only giving a shit about boys, clothes and make-up! (You know, all that good stuff that’s marketed to girls in the teen sect).
So what if they don’t have boobs, I’m sure we can shove their little immature bodies in to some kind of training bra and that way also give them a jump start on being sexual! Two birds, one stone…it’s ingenious. So what’s the smallest size string bikini briefs come in these days? Oh, and furthermore, can we get them with printed little sayings on them?? Like, I dunno, AWESOME, or I LOVE TEXTING, or, no, wait, I got it! DIVA! I’m on a roll here, not only can we sexualize them at 11 but incorporate an ignorant and uppity attitude at the same time! There I go again, killing two birds with one pair of inappropriate underwear.
Let’s seeeee, what else what else… I’m sooo totally not done yet like, fer sure! AHA! Let’s set up a bunch of really awesome role models for them to look up to. I vote for anyone blonde! I mean, they may be stupid but they’re certainly prettier then brunettes. Besides, who ever said girls have to be smart? As long as they can be as sarcastic as possible and get the boy, they’re good. I know this because all the Tween shows on Disney and Nick Jr. tell me!
Speaking of Disney… thank GOD for them right? I mean who else has been there for our daughters since day one? Teaching the importance of being beautiful and always waiting for a man to come save you?? I mean have you ever witnessed the lesson of low-self esteem taught so effortlessly? So naturally? It’s like you almost don’t even realize it, it’s so fluid! Which princess was your daughter for Halloween? Mine was Belle, which of course means Beautiful!! Who the fuck wants to be Mulan anyway?
Where was I? Oh yeah, TWEEN, a double digit age is a double digit age right? Fuck it, 10 year olds are basically Divas in training, so let’s make sure they know it.
Soooooo, 7,8,9 is almost 10… how about SWEEN? Like soon to be TWEEN?? I’m thinkin kitten heels……..
Listen, we can perpetuate this shit or not, we just gotta know it’s THERE.