Tween. I got a problem with that.

TWEEN sounds just like TEEN, and since they practically ARE I have a great fucking idea!  Let’s tell all little girls who are between 10-12 that they have moved up from the rank of “kid” to “tween”!
This way they can go ahead and get a jump start on only giving a shit about boys, clothes and make-up!  (You know, all that good stuff that’s marketed to girls in the teen sect).

So what if they don’t have boobs, I’m sure we can shove their little immature bodies in to some kind of training bra and that way also give them a jump start on being sexual!  Two birds, one stone…it’s ingenious.  So what’s the smallest size string bikini briefs come in these days?  Oh, and furthermore, can we get them with printed little sayings on them??  Like, I dunno, AWESOME, or I LOVE TEXTING, or, no, wait, I got it!  DIVA!  I’m on a roll here, not only can we sexualize them at 11 but incorporate an ignorant and uppity attitude at the same time!  There I go again, killing two birds with one pair of inappropriate underwear.  

Let’s seeeee,  what else what else…  I’m sooo totally not done yet like, fer sure!  AHA! Let’s set up a bunch of really awesome role models for them to look up to.  I vote for anyone blonde!   I mean,  they may be stupid but they’re certainly prettier then brunettes.  Besides, who ever said girls have to be smart?   As long as they can be as sarcastic as possible and get the boy, they’re good.    I know this because all the Tween shows on Disney and Nick Jr. tell me! 

Speaking of Disney… thank GOD for them right?  I mean who else has been there for our daughters since day one?  Teaching the importance of being beautiful and always waiting for a man to come save you??   I mean have you ever witnessed the lesson of low-self esteem taught so effortlessly?  So naturally?  It’s like you almost don’t even realize it, it’s so fluid!  Which princess was your daughter for Halloween?  Mine was Belle, which of course means Beautiful!!  Who the fuck wants to be Mulan anyway?
Where was I?  Oh yeah, TWEEN, a double digit age is a double digit age right?  Fuck it, 10 year olds are basically Divas in training, so let’s make sure they know it. 

Soooooo, 7,8,9 is almost 10… how about SWEEN?  Like soon to be TWEEN??  I’m thinkin kitten heels……..

Listen, we can perpetuate this shit or not, we just gotta know it’s THERE.

11 thoughts on “Tween. I got a problem with that.


  2. I’m a mom of an 11 year old girl and yes, I agree about the inappropriate clothes they sell at stores….Some of that crap is too trashy for a hooker. Thank goodness that we as moms get the vote on which clothes we buy for our girls. The princesses are awesome! I grew up with Disney and so has my daughter. And amazingly they are bringing out the more independent ladies like Merida. By the way, my daughter was Mulan for Halloween last year, black hair and all. LOL!

  3. why can’t they just look up to a smart brunette like one of the kardashian sisters?considering your had such a brilliant start to your post, you really shocked me with your comment about how blondes are stupider than brunettes. why don’t we just tell all our daughters who are born naturally blonde that they are stupider than their little brown-haired peers? also, I’m pretty sure the biggest tween role model these days is selena gomez, who is a brunette.I’m not sure where your insulting and simple-minded comment about blondes is coming from, but it certainly has no place in this otherwise true entry.

  4. WOW! SOOOOO hope you don’t have a daughter! As the mom of one, now 20 years old let me tell you she grew up within the city limits so she wasn’t secluded from ANYTHING. And not only did she NOT do ANY of the whacko crap your suggesting but didn’t have her 1st boyfriend till she was 16. She made sure he knew he had to meet me 1st and to this day makes comments about the girls with so little self esteem that they leave more then half their body hanging out when they “walk the streets”. My daughter had classmates, etc that fall into that category as well. The difference? I paid attention to her. She played sports year round, went away to summer camp and knew her own self-worth! Oh yeah, and she knew that not only would I never BUY her whore wear, let alone let her walk out the door in it. What’s wrong with all of you? You blaming the word “TWEEN” instead of the word “NEGLECT”!

  5. I’ve been saying something very simular to this sence my sister put my 1 year old neice in a bikini back 8 years ago. However it truly didn’t sink in until I lived in New London CT and watched 7 and 8 year old girls walking to school in mini-skirts that they can’t bend over in. Now my neice is 9 and my sister still dress’s her in a overly sexual manner. I really hate to say it but I predict my neice will be sexually active at a very young age. I don’t blame the clothing designers for this though. I blame the parents 100%. The clothing designers wouldn’t be putting it out there if the parents were not buying it. Lets face it parents buy the clothing for their children so they are the only ones to blame if their daughters look like little ho-bags. I have a 19 month old daughter now I never used to think of this when it was just my son and I. However, I go shopping for girls clothing now and I’m horrified at what I find in the infant/toddler clothing departments!! No 1 year old needs a two peice bikini or onsies with “I get the sexy from my Mommy” on them!!! Shame on the parents that buy this crap for their kids then wonder why their 14 year old daughters are sexually active. Our children are bombarded from every direction, Disney, advertisements, music videos, (those idiots Lady Gaga and Beyonce are the people they look up to) name the last time you saw a pop musicians video where the women in it were completely clothed? We are allowing this sexuality to over-come our children because we as parents are doing nothing to stop it. We are allowing our children to watch Disney, and those trashy music videos that do nothing but sexuallize every woman in them. Then we are scratching our heads wondering why our daughters are thinking that behaving like this is Okay. We have yet to tell them any different. We forgot to teach our young Lady’s that a really Lady can peak a mans interest without flashing him everytime she bends over. Beyonce and Lady Gaga are NOT going to teach our daughters how to be proper young ladies, they will however teach them how to be half naked and shake their stuff for an uneducated jerk at the club.

  6. Absolutely right! And anyone who thinks you’re overreacting, and everyone who thinks you aren’t, should read Femal Chauvanist Pig by Ariel Levy. Every mother, father, and teenager should read this book.Let’s let our little girls be little girls. And help them grow into strong, independent, competent women.

  7. Fantastic! This article was absolutely fantastic! We have 4 daughters. One in the tweens and one just hitting it. They like being cute on occasion but they have been taught to kick ass when needed.

  8. Maryia, thank you for reading and leaving a comment. This entire post was a sarcastic look at the societal stereotypes put upon girls. My comment regarding blondes was keeping in line with the idiotic assumptions that are indirectly steeped into the minds of girls through various forms of influential marketing. I have seen many times in these shows geared towards tweens, blonde characters portrayed as ditzy and shallow yet more often than not, the most POPULAR. When I referred to “role models” I was (as with the tone of the rest of the blog) being sarcastic in trying to highlight how ridiculous and blanketing these stereotypes are.

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