Mommy Brain.  

It’s a deceptive term because it really starts with pregnancy, before you are officially inducted into “Momhood”, and continues until.. well, not too sure cause I still have it more than 8 years later.  

People may think it’s an excuse for being disorganized but WE all know how REAL it is.  Mommy Brain is basically the act of being extremely forgetful, but really, only about bullshit.  

It’s our brain’s way of  weeding out what’s worth remembering and what’s not.  

Yes, house keys ARE important, but not necessarily on the *Survivalist Mommy Brain’s* list.  

Motherhood is so brutal that Mommy Brain really cuts down to the bare bones of basically, just keeping you and your baby ALIVE.  I am also willing to assume, from experience, that Mommy Brain serves as a mechanism to hone in and sharpen our OTHER senses, not dissimilar to how someone hard of hearing might have a more developed olfactory sense. Although it mainly affects the memory part of the brain, it also enhances the instinctive part — the “Eyes In The Back Of Our Head” part.   

Below are some examples of how Mommy Brain works:

You may not be able to complete a sentence without forgetting what the first part was — but you sure as hell know that your baby will only eat the light brown part of that banana.

You have NO IDEA what date it is — but without a clock in sight, you’re absolutely SURE it’s 5 minutes to nap time.

You can’t touch the tip of your nose with your finger in the morning before coffee — but you can catch that milk cup left handed as it’s swiped off the highchair.

You have no shampoo left in the shower for three days now — but you’ll be dammed if you run out of diaper cream.

You are clueless as to what this bitches’ name in the playground is — but you KNOW her kid is a *biter*.

You forget to pack an extra tampon for yourself — but you got three sets of pants for your potty training kid.

You’ve lost track of your own wedding anniversary — but remember the exact hour and minute your baby was born (as well as the height and the weight).

You’ve had to request a new e-mail password three times — but know by heart, the password to your kid’s club house.

You totally missed what your husband just said to you at the dinner table — but can hear from across the house that your kid is choking on something, and furthermore, you’ve never taken a CPR class, but somehow know just where to slap their back so whatever it was, flies out.

You get tipsy at a holiday party — but you still manage to gently and safety transport your sleeping child from the car to the bed without so much as a stir…

Your poor high heels stand neglected in the closet, remembering the days they used to hit the dance floor furiously bringing many a smile to your face in to the wee hours of the night — you have the same smile, just a bit wider, as you lay in your bed at 8:30 watching your baby sleep.

I could write more, but my Mommy Brain could really use a break…and a glass of wine.

Cheers Mommies!